be still (goldenglitter) wrote in boysex,
be still
goldenglitter
boysex

New slash. It sucks.

.hate.

You’re killing me. Killing me slowly. Killing me so gradually…I can only describe it as torture. Every biting insult, ever cold shoulder, every screaming match. Every time it happens it takes a piece from me.

You’re so fucking frustrating. When we have a fight I can never say the right thing. Every time I say I’m sorry something else goes wrong. You’ve got a new reason to hate me.

The panic attacks, the uncontrollable anger, the complete mental and physical exhaustion. It all builds up inside of me until I just want to make you fucking bleed.

But I’m the only one bleeding here.

I’ve begun keeping my razors next to my bed, I need them so fucking frequently. I cry like a fucking baby every time we fight. I just sob and drag the razor across my skin.

I run the sharp blade over my wrists wishing I had the fucking strength to slice them open. But I fucking never can.

Despite all of this, I still love you, Shavo. I love you more than anything I’ve ever loved.

But sometimes I really fucking hate you.
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