Shavo and Daron rushed to the other end of the trailer to the source of the noise. John was beating Serj, no suprises there.
"GUYS. I am totally getting a blow job here. Shut up! Daron snapped. (Daron was getting a blow job, right? Or Shavo? Daron, I thinks.)
John looked up from pouring tea on Serj's face.
"BUUUUULLLLLL SHHHIIIIITTT!!" He roared into the night.
"John-NO!" Serj cried as John ripped off his shirt and picked up the nearest chair and hit Shavo in the balls.
Shavo just stood there, expressionless until he realized everyone was staring at him.
"Oh yeah... Uhm... Oh, my balls! All four of my balls!"
It was too late for anyone to react because John ran on all fours through the (paper thin) wall.
"I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE! YOU GUYS ARE RIDICULOUS! YOU USED TO BE COOL!" Serj screamed. He ran out the door, tears streaming down his face.
"What a emotional bitch. Let's go capture John before he strangles someone." Daron said, shrugging it off.
Daron took the leash from a nearby shelf and stepped through the hole in the wall. (Naked.)
"COOOOCK!" John cried somewhere not too far.
Daron ran towards the sound, Shavo in tow.
They ended up in the middle of a forest for some reason, and the screams stopped.
"I see you." John breathed.
"Where is he!?" Shavo whispered to Daron.
"I-I don't know!" Daron whined. He hugged Shavo, and waited for death.
"I guess this is how it ends." Shavo sighed.
"I guess." Daron said, he was crying.
The only sounds they could hear was John's heavy breathing and physcotic laughter, and their own hearts pounding.
There was a roar from the treetops and they saw John leap above their heads.
"Hey sexy." A woman said to Serj from across the bar.
Serj could only burp.
"I SAID HI BITCH." She snapped.
"Hi." He said stupidly.
"Wanna have sex in a tree?" She asked.
"You got a penis?" Serj asked.
"Do I ever!" She replied and pulled a dismembered penis from her purse.
"Great! Let's go!"
The woman led Serj out of the bar and into an awkwardly placed forest.
They heard a roar and saw a wild John soar over their heads.
"FREEZE MUTHA FUCKA!" I woman bellowed.
John hissed and kept falling. Well, no shit he kept falling. Idiot. Go make me a sammich.
The woman pulled the penis from her purse--HEY! It wasn't a penis at all, it was a M16 machine gun. It wasn't even disgused as one, it didn't even remotley resemble one, Serj was just stupid.
She slammed her finger on the trigger and fired into the air, a cigar forming in her mouth.
John dropped to the ground, blood pooling around his lifeless body.
"Why'd you have a gun?!" Serj howled.
"Because I was going to kill you and take your money." She explained.
With that, she shot Serj and grabbed his wallet, and ran away.
Daron and Shavo were left huddling together on the cold ground.
"I-I have a casserole in the oven!" Shavo stammered, and ran off as well.
Daron was left in that hell of a forest for eternity, because he was too dumb to navigate out of the forest.
And that, my boy, was the tale of the second end of SOAD. Legend has it, if you go in an awkwardly placed forest at night, you can still hear Daron's bad case of blue balls. Spooky.